Dear TSB, I would prefer to go as Anonymous.
I have been married for one an a half years now. I am a 28 year old woman. My husband and I decided not to have kids until after two years of marriage, to enable us enjoy the home before the kids come.
Sometime last month, My husband was taking a shower after work. His phone rang and I decided to take the call for him. That is not wrong because we take each other's calls – I am his wife now! My husband stored this number as Seyi. I quickly took the call and what I heard really shocked me:
Baby, I have been trying to call you, why didn't you pick my calls on time? Are you home yet?
I was stunned, just a year and a half into marriage and my hubby was already cheating on me? I answered the lady and told her I was Tunde's wife and she quickly dropped the call. When he came out of the bathroom, I confronted him and he didn't deny. He asked me to forgive him, that it was the devil's handwork, that it would not repeat itself again – but it did.
I feel betrayed and cheated. Why did he cheat on me? What will happen when we start having kids? Should I cheat on him, so i don't feel hurt when he does the same?
Please I need your honest opinions.
Anonymous
You dnt pay evil with evil, even if he cheats forgive him, he will change with time, Show him love n become more affectionate. Men are known to cheat by nature. You wnt achieve anything by throwing caution to the wind
ReplyDeleteBrilliant comment! What if you end up with AIDS? Does a cheating man ever get pregnant? THINK!
DeleteMy dear, it's really a hard decision to make. I was tempted to cheat on my husband when I noticed he has started cheating on me after 1 year in marriage but being a christian I VOWED not to and I said GOD should take my life the day I cheat on him. That has been my check all these while. Try talking to him again but if he does not change, leave him to God and definitely he will reap what he's sowing and I pray his harvest doesn't get near you and your children
ReplyDeletewow!
DeleteI feel your pain dear. Take it to God in prayer
ReplyDeleteYou are very silly. Cheat on your husband because he is cheating on you. Dats no way forward, u only complicate things by being crowned a prostitute. Its till death do u part, so live it
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm...na wa o! I am not married n do not know what to say
ReplyDeleteIt only takes an artful and loving player to respect all women he deals with.
ReplyDeleteAnyman that puts down his wife because of another female is a USELESS MAN!
Hmmmmm
DeleteDis has been d Word frm every cheat!
ReplyDeleteFOOL. She never said she cheated on her man. Read the story well before dropping stupid comments
DeleteWhy being so abusive? Can"t you make your point without insulting others?
DeleteYou should start seeing me instead. I will wipe your tears away and make your husband history in no time.
ReplyDelete*long hiss*
DeleteNow, there goes another retard!
DeleteI sincerely doubt if the women of nowadays can be as faithful as our mothers, because your spouse cheats on u, then u want to reiterate? Did your mother do that to your father? Na wa o! Sometimes i get scared of getting married
ReplyDeleteSharrap there....will ur world crash if u stay faithful to one woman.
Deleteretaliate, not reiterate, sir/madam!
DeleteI strongly believe you know how to fix this mess, you are just looking for people to validate your action since your mind is made up.
ReplyDeleteI do not agree with you on that. If she knew what to do , she will not be asking us. Try to help the woman n stop making her feel worse than she already is.
Delete... and this is the best place to seek redress? get real!
DeleteMy friend that is not an excuse... no matter what happens you have the will power to do what ever you want to do.... no one can push you nor stop you... the power is in your hands.
ReplyDeleteI'm kinda confused.
ReplyDeleteHow do these people end up getting married? hian o.Is it not better to live on your own
that cheats abound does not mean you will get involved with one. just pray God gives you a good spouse. this is no reason to get discouraged from getting married.
Deletetry talking 2 his family members 2 see if they can talk some senses into him.If dat doesnt work,go and report 2 d priest or pastor dt wedded u
ReplyDeleteIt pains me wenever i read stories lyk dis,,,,,,D UNMARRIED R BUZY DAY N NYT SEARCHING 4 SM1 2 CALL A LYF PATNER,,,,,D MARRIED R COMPLAINAIN ''oooooh am tied of dis marriage'plzzzzzzzz, 2 wrngs cannt n will neva make a ryt, setle ur case amicably n trust in d Lord n He wil surely visit ur home
ReplyDeleteTrue
Deletethis is just an unfortunate situation searchin 4 a fortunate solution
ReplyDeleteTwo wrongs cant make it right so there's no point cheating on him cos u might not even be able to stop plus na BIG sin.
ReplyDeleteTry to see where u have gone wrong in case u ve to make certain amends.
This is wisdom from Funke! Tuale to you.
Deleteits sad though but two wrongs dont make a right and there's no right way in doing the wrong thing. if you really want to forgive your husband and make this marriage a success story... you can.
ReplyDeleteGood advise too!
DeleteDon't let the devil deceive/tempt you into committing a heinous sin to spite your spouse. Think of your marriage and future. Do you want to end up regretting your actions? For the married ladies/women, its even worse because your cheating partner could either film your adulterous act or kiss and tell - as is the case nowadays. so when you resolve issues with your spouse what if the cheating partner posts your "iniquituos" acts online. Would your life ever be the same again? what about if you contract an STD in the process - no decent bachelor would opt for plowing the field of a married woman. Get real, whoever you are. The devil has just set you up for a great fall like humpty dumpty!
ReplyDeleteThe truth of the matter is that you cheating on him won't solve your problem...it will only make matters worse. My dear, you have to fight to keep your home and the best way to do that is to stick with your hubby...no matter what. Easier said than done right?
ReplyDeleteMy dear, advising a fellow woman on issues like this is kinda hard, but I will try.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you must go down on ur knees in prayers. You must pray for God to change this man...Sow a seed, pray hard. Pray that God will protect you from catching any STD from him. Pray that God will give you the strength and patient to endure and forgive him, trust me, without His grace it will be very hard.
2ndly, don't change your attitude toward him, on a good day, cook his favorite meal, create a friendly atmosphere and have a chat with him, pls don't cry..don't shout...don't kneel, don't beg...just talk as calm as possible....let him know how u feel about this, the spiritual and physical consequences his action will bring to ur marriage. Ask him to let u know if he is still interested in the relationship with u. Pls remember don't shout, n don't cry...but be calm and firm.
When u true, let him talk and listen to him...find out if there are some things u both need to do to make ur marriage better. See, ur sex life maybe good but u might be emotionally disconnected from him or vise versa. Are you friends? Some married pple are not friends at all...they allowed things get in the way. Am a woman, and am married. Marriage is a whole lotta work, but I realized one thing..it's a woman tht decides when marriage is over. Men are babies, find a way to handle ur man...make ur mark in his life now that ur marriage is still early. Trust me, there's nothing prayers can't change but most pple are too lazy to pray. Unfortunately, u prayer is part of a successful marriage and it is usually the woman that prays her husband to God. I blv God is partial to married women, cos the world is on her shoulders...use ur powers. PRAYER WORKS..remember in the course of ur discussion, let him know he has to go for STD test before u r to have sex with him again..be prayerful, be wise too.
SORRY FOR THE LONG EPISTLE...HOPE IT HELPS AND PLS VISIT MY CHRISTIAN BLOG.
www.thebanquethall.blogspot.com
WOW! So on point
DeleteThank you so much! I am so inspired by your words
DeleteWise words
Deleteits not a time to shout or cry or make yourself less attractive with ugly behaviour, but its a time to work on yourself seriously and also to pray for your man. checkout the competition not to quarrel with her but to be all that she is and more to your hubby, if you keep your attitude right your positive fragrance will draw your hubby closer to you and farther away from her. you can do all things and be all things through christ who strenghtens you. forget the cheating it makes a serious mess of things. you have more power in you than you know so be wise dear as a serpent but harmless as a dove.
ReplyDeleteSMH .... What a story!
ReplyDeleteMay God help you ma'am! Cheating is not the best way to go. THINK
ReplyDelete